Pressed Between the Pages
by Xenoglossy
Summary: All you need to have a good luck charm is a single good memory.


**PRE FIC RANTINGS AND A SPRINKLE OF DISCLAIMER:** You'd imagine Roy'd be difficult to write. But he's not. Ed's the tricky one. Needless to say this is my first FMA fic, explaining why it's so terrible and OOC. And rushed at the end. And sorely lacking in Al. I'm reasonably new to the series and pretty ignorant of events past the Greed arc, but yeah. -whistles innocently-  
This story was written for the temps mort lj comm in approx. 47 minutes.  
Insert standard "I Don't Own This" disclaimer here.**Pressed Between the Pages**  
_Cephied Variable_Everyone has a good luck charm. No one knows that Hawkeye wears her mother's pendant at all times- tucked beneath the lapels of her uniform and even in her sleep- or that Jean Havoc still has the first note a girl ever wrote to him stowed away inside his dresser. Someone like Maes Hughes collects new good luck charms everyday, and shows them off for the entire world to see. Alicia's first stick figure and the latest photo of Gracia hanging laundry in the backyard are the newest additions to his collection, folded and sandwhiched lovingly between his military identification papers.It seems rather unproffesional to Ed, who always thought military men (and women) were supposed to be unsentimental- detatched, cold and totally devoted to their country and their job. Then again, not every soldier could afford to be Colonel Roy Mustang."Fullmetal, what are you doing?" the Colonel asked calmly, with a slight tinge of irritation. He didn't even look up from his desk.Ed continued pulling books from the shelf and skimming them quickly before shoving them back into their place. He wasn't looking for anything in particular- if he found anything important, he had no doubt the Colonel would snatch it away from he before he had a good chance to study it, "I'm rifling through your personal belongings, what does it look like?" he replied smoothly, reaching for another book _your own fault for taking so long to read that damn report..._.Most people who met him would say that Edward Elric was not terribly adept at staying still and keeping quiet. This was actually far from the truth, Edward was a scientist and perfectly capable of sitting motionlessly for hours on end, nose buried in a book or mind lost in academic contemplation. Edward Elric was not terribly adept at staying still and keeping quiet when in an unfamiliar or uncomfortable situation, and being alone with Colonel Roy Mustang in the soldier's office certainly registered as uncomfortable. He didn't like the silences that settled between them and how they were almost... familiar, bearable. There was no way he was going to admit that he knew that Colonel _that_ well.The Colonel made no move to stop Ed from doing what he was doing, so he kept right on doing it, his flesh fingers (battle calloused and ink stained) brushing across a small, leatherbound notebook. It was worn and ragged, with a cracked spine and loose pages jutting out at all angles. Ed's eyes widened and his breath caught in his throat as he reached for the small tome. There was no way someone as catious and scheming as Roy Mustang would keep his personal alchemical journal _right there_ out in the open where _anyone could read it_. Ed knew that he shouldn't, but it was so _tempting_...There was a sigh from behind the Colonel's desk, a chair creaked and paper ruffled, "Go ahead and look at it, Fullmetal. It's from my younger years, and besides that, I doubt very much that you'd understand anything written in it."Ed grabbed the book and turned to glare at the Colonel angrily, "Hey! I've decrypted the alchemical code of minds far more complex than yours! What makes you think-""I was merely implying," the Colonel interjected smoothly, smirking at Ed from behind the report, "That the language of women may be something that you are not familiar with." he didn't _say_ 'because you look so young no woman could ever possibly find you attractive', but Ed felt that it was implied and thus reacted by saying nothing and practically tearing the notebook open with vicious resolve. He would prove once and for all that _he_ was the superior alchemist despite all of Mustang's prestige and proffesionalism and-"What the hell!?" Josephine, Ehryin, Elizabeth, Odelle, Sarah, Katherine- and that was just the _first_ page! He flipped to page two and caught Ovelia, Mary and Jazelle before raising his eyes and regarding the Colonel with a sickened expression, "Just how many women have you slept with in your life?" he demanded. The Colonel's smirk just widened and Ed paled, "You're disgusting." he muttered, attempting to turn his attention back to the notes but the names just blurred. All he could think about was how all these women had been unjustly taken advantage of by a bastard like Mustang."Ahh, Fullmetal, I warned that you wouldn't understand. I did not simply _sleep_ with those women- I romanced them, wined and dined them. A woman deserves to be shown respect as well as a good time, so do not assume that I was anything less than-" he trailed off and his gaze sunk to the floor at Ed's feet."What?" Ed wondered, looking at the Colonel, and then at the ground. He was surprised to see a single red leaf on the floor resting against his left foot. He bent to pick it up only to discover that it was dry and brittle, the veins etching deep, fossilized patterns of seasons past. He held it up to the light, "Why is this in here?"The Colonel leaned back in his chair casually, "That is a memento from the most special woman of all." he smiled, but it was an honest smile this time. Ed didn't see those on him very often." _'Most Special'_?" the young alchemist repreated skeptically, "I thought that they were _all_ special.""They are, but this one more so."Ed didn't ask, because he knew the Colonel wouldn't tell, so there's was no point in wondering about it. Instead he asked, "But why keep it in your old alchemical journal? Don't you have a safer place to put it?"The Colonel picked up Ed's report again and reshuffled it, obviously having lost his place, "Well, yes. But it's a good luck charm of sorts."And Ed _groaned_. That was just ridiculous."Why are you so displeased, Fullmetal?""It's just a stupid leaf! How does it bring you luck? I thought for sure you of all people would realize how stupid that is!"The Colonel just looked at him evenly until Ed felt awkward. He shifted on his feet and tucked the leaf back into the book, snapping it shut, "Edward." the Colonel began slowly and Ed resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Whenever Mustang used his given name it meant that the older man was about to go into his (thankfully rare) 'I'm an adult and you're not' mode. Ed could hardly stand the Colonel when he was treating him like an equal, when he was being condescending, Ed wanted to transmute his head into a rock. And then smash the rock with a hammer. The mental image was pleasing, and Ed grinned despite himself."No one really believes that a good luck charm brings you good luck." Ed put his hands on his hips and smothered his grin. Get on with it, Colonel, I'm not an idiot, "A good luck charm is something that reminds one of the good times in their life. It's a sentimental attatchment, not a superstitious one.""Sure, sure, whatever." _hardly an important life lesson, Colonel._"You can't convince me that you don't have something, Fullmetal. Everyone has happy memories."Ed paused and unwillingly began to think. Al always picked up cats and stuffed them in his armour. It exasperated Ed to no end, but he knew that he couldn't repress his brother's compassionate nature. When they were children, their mother always used to feed the stray cats the roamed the countryside. Al never took much notice in them then, but ever since they left Rizenbul he's been obsessed with them.Winry never uses her older tools, although they're still functional. She's never said it, but Ed knows that she can't stand to look at anything she and Auntie Pinako used to fit him with his automail limbs. However, she keeps the doll he and Al made for her so, so long ago tucked under her pillow. It had made her upset at the time, but she'd rather remember the Elric brothers as innocent children playing around with toys and flowers than the desperate, half human travellers they'd become after that night.Ed's hand went instinctively to his watch and he thought of the date inscribed within. He saw his house burning, saw Al's seal scrawled out in blood, watched a calvacade of memories flicker past his mind's eyes, all of them burning, searing, painful. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and inhaled deeply."I don't have anything." he answered after a moment too long. All he had was a handful of bad memories.fin. 


End file.
